In today’s lesson, you’ll learn how to get over procrastination and why you should forgive yourself, but give your partner hell.
Video Lesson
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Time: 5:09
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Click full screen (lower right corner) to increase the size
Lesson Summary
How to get over procrastination
Raymond Chandler—one of the best damn writers, ever—used the following habit to crank out four hours of writing every day. When asked how he was able to write four hours a day, Raymond Chandler replied,
“Two very simple rules, a. you don’t have to write. b. you can’t do anything else. The rest comes of itself.” - Raymond Chandler
Other writers refer to this as “butt-in-seat” time. You don’t force yourself to get started, so there’s no pressure. But you also remove the option to do anything else… and pretty soon… you get to work.
Break your big goal into several smaller ones
A study published in the Journal of Experimental Social Psychology found that we procrastinate when faced with large, ill-defined tasks.
If you’ve ever sighed, and thought to yourself, “I don’t even know where to start”—then you know the feeling.
However, here’s the good news: The study concluded that our motivation increases when we feel more likely to succeed. I suspect that’s why Bill Gates famously said,
“Most people overestimate what they can do in one year and underestimate what they can do in ten.” - Bill Gates
Ten years is a long time, but since it’s hard to accurately predict what we’ll accomplish over such a long timeframe, we end up selling ourselves short.
Therefore, the trick is to break the big, scary goal into smaller, easier-to-digest goals. Which, as you may recall, is what we’ve done with your project-specific kanbans.
As you recall from module 3, you have the option to create additional project kanbans that tie into your master kanban. By creating a project kanban you break a big, scary goal into smaller, manageable goals.
Forgive yourself—but give your spouse hell
You’re going to love this one. Double standards abound in marriages—but now, we finally have one backed by science.
Psychological scientists Gráinne M. Fitzsimons and Eli J. Finkel found that people who think their partner will help them complete a task are more likely to procrastinate doing it.
I’m guilty as hell here.
If I think Adam’s going to help clean the kitchen, I’m glacier-patient. Seriously, I will calmly wait until the kitchen resembles a slasher-film before cleaning it.
So if you find your spouse slacking off, give ‘em hell. Let the dishes stack up, the lawn grow tall, and the laundry go unwashed—they’ll get the message. Eventually. Do NOT enable them by doing their work for them!
But should you procrastinate, dear reader, don’t beat yourself up. Forgive and forget. I know. Hard to believe, right? But there is strong evidence to support forgiving yourself.
A study published in Personality and Individual Differences polled 119 students and found that students who forgave themselves for not studying on the first exam were less likely to slack off on their second exam.
So next time you slack off, take it easy and forgive yourself.
Now that we’ve discussed how to block distractions, let’s tie everything together and ensure you make your goals happen.
What you need to do next:
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Start every day with your kanban. Empty your mind into the backlog column so you start with a clear head.
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Select your most important thing to do today. Move this item into your “doing” column in your kanban (if it’s not already there).
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Break larger tasks into smaller, separate tasks—and place them in your kanban. Doing so will make your work seem more manageable, and you won’t procrastinate.
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Forgive yourself for procrastinating. But if your partner is procrastinating, don’t do the work for them. Wait them out; otherwise, you’re just enabling them!
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Optional: try StayFocusd to help you block distractions.
Module summary
In this module, you discovered that you’re distracted because you want to feel in control of your life. In psychological terms, this is called “asserting our autonomy.”
You also learned the three types of distractions are strategic distractions, tactical distractions, and procrastination. Strategic is when you’re working on the wrong thing; tactical is when you get distracted while working on the right thing; procrastination is not starting at all.
You learned that saying “I don’t” instead of “*I can’*t” will boost your ability to block distractions and temptations.
You also saw how even a small distraction kills your effectiveness. Interruptions averaging 2.8 seconds doubled the number of errors; interruptions averaging 4.4 seconds tripled them.
You learned to say no—frequently. Saying no is perhaps the greatest productive tactic ever created.
And lastly, you learned to forgive yourself for procrastinating—but to give your spouse hell.
10x Community
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